I am so damn excited to see this movie I can hardly stand it.
“It’s not about superheroes. This is the method of universal storytelling that all people have… To me, they’re the same as the Greek myths or the Roman myths or religious figures of every religion. These are common characters that we use to express stories about being a better person or what you would do when faced with various things.”
– Patty Jenkins
“Patricia Lea Jenkins is an American film director and screenwriter. She directed Monster (2003) and Wonder Woman (2017), and is slated to direct the upcoming Wonder Woman 1984. She is the only female director to direct a film with a budget over $150 million.” (Wikipedia)
Carol Danvers: *referring to the front of the baseball cap that Fury has given her * What is this?
Nick Fury: It’s a S.H.I.E.L.D. logo.
Carol Danvers: Does announcing your identity with branded clothing help with the covert part of the job?
Nick Fury: …said the space soldier who’s wearing a rubber suit.
I’ve always said that S.H.I.E.L.D.’s branding is on point. They have that logo stamped on everything. It’s probably embossed on the company toilet paper.
We saw Captain Marvel this weekend and it was good. There, that’s it. Go see the movie, then spend the next couple of days eyeballing your cat.
Okay, okay. A little more in depth, then. But no spoilers.
It starts off slow. Like the first, eh, third of the movie is slow. There’s a couple of cool fight scenes, but otherwise it’s all exposition and plotwork, and it’s a bit dry. Most of the funny happens in the middle third. The final third is a whole lot of smash-’em-up fun.
Brie Larson did a great job as Carol Danvers. She was funny and tough and a lot of fun to watch.
There’s a good plot twist. Goose kind of steals every scene he’s in. Seeing a young Nick Fury, before he becomes the badass super-spy of the Iron Man and Avengers movies, is kind of a hoot.
The CGI used to de-age Sam Jackson is pretty damn good, but there are a couple of scenes where he’s running or fighting and you can totally see he still moves like a 70-year-old man, and that’s a little bit unintentionally hilarious.
The CGI used to de-age Clark Gregg is slightly less good – looks a bit plasticky in a couple of scenes.
The movie was full of references to 90’s nostalgia, including shot-for-shot remakes of a few 90’s films for some of the action bits, references and homages to other 90’s films, and a Stan Lee cameo that made Kevin Smith cry.
I’m pretty sure they used every decent 90’s song available in the soundtrack, and that came to about 7 songs. The 90’s were a musical desert.
Overall the movie was a good origin story, and left me more excited to see a sequel, now that we’ve got all the exposition out of the way. Also, I’m really looking forward to seeing Captain Marvel in Endgame.
5 Things to Read Today (Mostly with Spoilers)
- The Root: The Only Captain Marvel I Acknowledge is Monica Rambeau, So Maybe I’m Not the Best Person For This Review
- Den of Geek: Captain Marvel: Complete Marvel Universe Easter Eggs and Reference Guide
- Mary Sue: Review: Captain Marvel Is a Bright New Future for Marvel Movies
- io9: Here’s Why Nick Fury Didn’t Page Captain Marvel Sooner, According to Kevin Feige
- BGR: ‘Captain Marvel’ answers tons of ‘Avengers: Endgame’ questions – here are all the mysteries it solved
Of particular interest today is item number 3, from the News & Observer, which is live-blogging the investigation into the absentee ballot tampering scandal in North Carolina. Also worth a look is #5, where an engineer on Twitter tackles the Monsters, Inc. “scare floor” and redesigns it for better safety and efficiency.
- CNN: California AG Becerra says states to sue over Trump’s national emergency declaration
- Politico: McCabe: ‘I was fired because I opened a case against the president’
- News & Observer: Bladen County operative ‘told us what we were to say’ at hearing, worker testifies
- LA Times: Rare L.A. mega-storm could overwhelm dam and flood dozens of cities, experts say
- Twitter: Engineer takes on Monsters, Inc. “scare floor”
I enjoyed the 2016 Ghostbusters. It was funny and fun, Chris Hemsworth was a gem, and Kate McKinnon’s Jillian was the best. I thought it had a few problems. Leslie Jones was pretty underserved by her character, for starters. They should have given her something better to work with. But overall? Good movie. Laughed my ass off.
Then the Internet’s Pissbaby Men’s League got their knickers all in a twist over the movie because – *gasp!* – there were girls in it. If you don’t remember, it turned into a whole bullshit thing. They deliberately tanked the scores for the movie on review sites. If you mentioned the movie on social media (particularly Twitter), pissbabies ganged up on you and shat all over your account.
It was endless. They chased Leslie Jones off Twitter with horrific, racist abuse. Parts of Twitter and Reddit were wall-to-wall fat jokes and hate for Melissa McCarthy.
All because they put girls in a Ghostbusters movie.
Now they’re doing this sequel/reboot/whatever thing in the “original universe” and there’s already pissbabies crowing about it on Twitter and shitting up women’s tweets about it. And I just…
If I have to listen to one more crybaby who’s mad because he’s such a socially-inept trash person that he can’t get laid so he’s mad about women doing literally anything and turns up for every new inclusive nerd thing to shit all over it, my hand to god, I will lose my entire damn mind.
See, here’s the thing: I grew up watching Ghostbusters. I loved the first movie, I loved the cartoon, I even loved the considerably less-than-stellar Ghostbusters II. I had the toys, I think I even dressed as a Ghostbuster for Halloween once. I loved Ghostbusters 2016.
I want to love this new movie (assuming it even gets made, which is up in the air, since they’ve been trying to make a third Ghostbusters for like 30 years and it hasn’t happened yet).
But now Ghostbusters is a thing. And if I go see the movie, or talk about it, I have to feel like I’m somehow supporting or encouraging the Pissbaby Men’s League. Like, I just want to watch people be funny and fight ghosts with weird laser guns.
I’m living in a golden age of nerddom, and all the nerdy things I love are getting more and more inclusive of women and non-white and non-straight/cis people (well, that one’s moving a bit slower, but we’re getting there), and I feel like the things I love are now more available for more people to love, which is awesome. Except every time someone tries to open up a new realm of nerddom for more people to enjoy, this little clique of assholes rages up and shits all over everyone, and ruins it.
It’s just so tedious and tiresome.
So, assuming they manage to make a new Ghostbusters, I dunno. I probably won’t bother watching it in the theater. Not sure I’ll bother renting it or even Netflixing it. I just can’t stand the idea of encouraging these assholes anymore.