I’ve been on vacation since just before Christmas and have enjoyed thoroughly ignoring the news in favor of books, TV, and a new video game, Cozy Grove.
(FYI: Cozy Grove came out last year, but it’s new to me. It’s extremely cute and soothing and chill and if you’re looking for something to noodle about with that won’t stress you out, this is a great game.)
Alas, I am back to work today. So here’s some news.
🤡 So the GOP is voting for the Speaker of the House today, and Kevin McCarthy, known turd, wants the job real super bad, but he can’t seem to get the votes together. That’s thanks to the fact that he is a known turd, and also the House Freedom Caucus, which boasts such trail-blazing GOP luminaries as Marjorie Taylor Greene and Jim Jordan. The House Freedom Caucus were made up of the Tea Party chuds that got voted in after Obama won the presidency, if you don’t remember, and have since been bolstered by the wide variety of Nazis, white supremacists, grifters, and other trash that the GOP’s descent into rightwing terrorism has blown into Congress. At any rate, the HFC bent McCarthy over a barrel and forced him to cough up a whole bunch of concessions to their will, and still won’t vote for him, which, LOL, LMAO, oh my god. The HFC are apparently floating alternatives that include Donald Trump and Steve Scalise. This is going to be a complete clown show.
🚰 Hey, you should probably make sure you’re drinking enough water and staying hydrated through the day. Turns out that well-hydrated adults are way healthier.
💩 So, George Santos, eh? Jesus, this guy. I’m actually almost impressed at the amount of bullshit-slinging this guy got away with for so long. But it turns out he committed crimes in Brazil and Brazil is coming after him.
🤡 NBC News: “Republican leader Kevin McCarthy is poised to lose the first vote for speaker, likely sending the House to a second ballot after more than five Republicans opposed his nomination.” This is the first time since 1923 that the vote for House Speaker has gone to a second ballot. LOL, LOL.
🤡 10:45 a.m.: For the first vote, the final total was 211 votes for Hakeem Jefferies, the House Minority Leader, I.E., the Democrat, and 202 for Kevin McCarthy, House Majority Leader – the Republican. I am dying over here. Someone has to get to 218 votes to win, so no winner yet.
🏛️ If they ever get around to electing a Speaker of the House so they can swear new Reps in, someone’s apparently planning to swear on a Superman comic, which, depending on the context, is kind of awesome. You could pick worse ideals to try to live up to. I always thought I’d pick a Terry Pratchett book to swear in on, but I couldn’t decide which one. Probably a Granny Weatherwax or Vimes book.
🤡 Checking back in at 1:50 p.m., and apparently McCarthy has managed to lose a third vote while I was busy working. LOL
🤡 Welp, the House has given up for the day – they’ve voted to adjourn. No Speaker was elected. They’ll reconvene and try again tomorrow at noon EST. I bet a lot of people are in for a stressful night as the GOP haggles for votes and whatnot. LOL
🏛️ In other Congressional news, the House Republicans plan to limit the ability of the independent Office of Congressional Ethics to investigate lawmakers. Assuming they ever manage to elect a Speaker, that is.
📽️ And to wrap up on a fun note, ever since Glass Onion, the sequel to Knives Out, hit Netflix, the Internet has been clamoring for a Benoit Blanc/Muppets crossover. They clamored so hard that director/creator Rian Johnson heard them, but had to turn them down on the idea. However, author Kelly Knox suggested a holiday special, and…
Guys, if we get a Benoit Blanc/Muppets holiday special crossover, I may die of squee. On a related note, if you haven’t seen Glass Onion (or Knives Out) yet, you should absolutely do that ASAP, it was excellent.