Movie theater companies and folks who make movies would very much like us to start going back to theaters to see movies. And I get it, things are pretty bad in the movie theater biz, and movies themselves aren’t doing great as a result.

But like… no. No thank you. You want me to go sit in the dark with strangers for 2+ hours in a badly-ventilated building where I can’t even be sure people are following masking rules, and even if they were, they’re pulling down their masks constantly to eat popcorn and drink pop?

Extra no, with no on top, thanks.

Same goes for restaurants. And basically any place indoors that I can’t absolutely avoid. Shopping? Nah. Eating out? No, not a chance.

I’d like to head out to the coast, but I haven’t done it because I can’t figure out how to do it while avoiding going in somewhere. Eventually nature will call and I’m not peeing in the bushes, so no coast this year, I guess.

The most exciting thing I do in a week is take the dog to the dog park. If I could figure out how to get everything without going inside anywhere, I wouldn’t even go to the grocery store right now.

Look, it’s boring. I know. I’m bored to goddamn death, and I hardly do anything when there isn’t a pandemic on. But COVID-19 is still circulating, wildly out of control. The government is still completely ignoring their responsibility to deal with it. There are basically no effective treatments. There’s no vaccines.

So, for now, I’ll just stay home and be bored. Sorry Hollywood, you’re not making any movies that are worth risking death or long-term disability over.