Thoughts & Essays

We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.

I’m back from a nice, long vacation where I spent almost no time reading the news, checking social media, or fretting about, y’know… *waves vaguely at all this*

I spent most of my time watching Veronica Mars and Queer Eye (new seasons of both coming out next month!), playing Minecraft and Zoo Tycoon, and, at the end of the week, wandering all over town playing the new Harry Potter: Wizards Unite phone AR game. I also hung some new curtains in our apartment. I got about halfway through that project when it occurred to me that in order to hang the new curtains, I’d had to remove the old sliding curtains installed by building management, and then I wondered if I should have asked the managers first, but by then it was far too late. So hopefully that goes unnoticed. Oops.

So, a few things I noticed while on vacation…

1. Our new next door neighbors love to grill, and the smoke – and smell – from their grill carries directly into our apartment. I’d just like to say that if they’re going to be over there grilling all summer and sending delicious smells into our apartment, they ought to be required by law to share with us.

2. On a similar note, this morning when I went to take our dog outside, one of the neighbors was cooking bacon for breakfast. I know this because the entire parking lot smelled pungently of bacon. If folks are going to be filling the whole area up with the smell of bacon at 7am, then they should have to share with me and the dog when we walk by. It’s only polite.

3. Sunday we were out and about playing Wizards Unite, and we’d stopped on a quiet sidewalk to fight a few things in the game. My BF was off the sidewalk, and I was nearly off the sidewalk, and while we were playing, a couple of dried-up old farts out for a Sunday afternoon walk approached us. As soon as I spotted them from the corner of my eye I jumped off the sidewalk so they could pass, saying, “Oh, sorry,” and the old bag in the couple said, quite snidely, “They’re just standing there staring at their phones,” all sanctimonious and whatnot. Fuck us for being outside on a nice day doing something fun, I guess. 🙄

Speaking of stuff I missed while on vacation…

1. E. Jean Carroll, noted advice columnist and TV show host among other things, accused Donald Trump of raping her 23 years ago. The media mostly ignored this because I guess we’re just used to the idea of a rapist president now and it doesn’t get them any advertising clicks anymore.

2. Iran shot down one of our drones, claiming it was in their airspace. We claim it was in international airspace. Trump almost started a war with Iran over it but backed down at the last second.

3. Hey, remember how we were super pissed about the kids on the border being taken away from their families and everyone was basically being detained in dog kennels so we raised a bunch of hell? Guess what? It’s all still happening, only ten times worse than before. Reminder: Most of these migrants came here legally to seek asylum. Still super pissed about that? Call your electeds and donate to RAICES.